you say i only hear what i want to

I have never been good at running. I have never enjoyed running. In fact, I've never been even slightly athletic. I had always wanted to play sports when I was in elementary school, but for whatever reason, my parents didn't want me to.  In high school, I sat out as many gym classes as I could sit out and still be able to pass. I just barely passed my entire high school gym class career. Whenever it was time that we had to run the mile, I was always the last one to finish. Even in elementary school (maybe it was only a half mile in elementary school?) I was in the back. I sucked at running. I was out of shape. Always. In high school, I was 100% convinced that I had asthma because I was that out of shape.

I was blessed with a really good metabolism, and I've never been overweight. So I never believed it when my dad told me I was just out of shape. I'd say, "but I'm skinny. You're wrong. There's something wrong with me." Nope. He was right. I may be skinny, but my heart and my lungs are super weak.

I guess about a year and a half ago, Josh was having chest pains. He went to the doctor, who put him on blood pressure medication and told him he needs to exercise - get in shape and shed a few pounds in the process. I found a couch to 5k program (which I had never heard of at the time) and resolved that we were going to start running.

It wasn't fun, and it wasn't easy, but we did it. We went really strong for several weeks, and then life and nature got in the way. At this point, I can't even tell you how many times we've restarted c25k. And I swear it's more difficult each time we start over. We've learned the hard way that the cookie cutter c25k programs aren't for everyone. The first program we tried had really reasonable transitions between the weeks, but it had you running every single day. Our bodies never had time to heal, and it hurt. A lot. I pulled my inner thigh muscle (whatever it's called; I never took anatomy) twice. The program we are currently using (the run double app) has you run three times a week, but I feel like the transitions between weeks are pretty drastic.

Now we're on our own schedule. We run every other day instead of Monday, Wednesday, Friday because this way, if you miss a day for some reason, it's not as bad. If you're on MWF and then you miss Monday or Friday, then that's four days off, and it's no good. We're also moving on as we feel comfortable, so we're going with phases instead of weeks. Right now, we're on our fourth week, but we're still only on phase three. I don't like to push myself. I don't like to "feel the burn." I hate it. I hate running.

But I'm addicted to it. I still suck at it. We don't improve every run. In fact, sometimes we do worse than the previous run. Sometimes way worse. Sometimes I hate it so much that I just say, "I'm out here, and I'm trying, but I'm not going to do my best today because I just don't want to." But I want to run. I feel guilty when we miss a day. I feel really good about the fact that we are doing this for our bodies, and I hope that we can stick it out and eventually be able to run the entire 5k.

Here's what we've done so far:
Phase One: 8 repetitions of 60sec running and 90sec brisk walking.
Day 1: Distance: 1.26 miles Pace: 14:39 min/mile
Day 2: Distance: 1.30 miles Pace: 14:12 min/mile
Day 3: Distance: 1.32 miles Pace: 14:00 min/mile
Day 4: Distance: 1.34 miles Pace: 13:46 min/mile
Phase Two: 6 repetitions of 90sec running and 2min brisk walking.
Day 5: Distance: 1.33 miles Pace: 14:19 min/mile
Day 6: Distance: 1.29 miles Pace: 14:45 min/mile
Day 7: Distance: 1.31 miles Pace: 14:30 min/mile
Day 8: Distance: 1.33 miles Pace: 14:20 min/mile
Day 9: Distance: 1.39 miles Pace: 13:37 min/mile
Phase Three: 90sec running, then 90sec walking. 3min running, then 3 min walking. Repeat.
Day 10: Distance: 1.16 miles Pace: 12:55 min/mile
Day 11: Distance: 1.06 miles Pace: 14:09 min/mile
Day 12: Distance: 1.12 miles Pace: 13:23 min/mile

The third phase has less overall run time, which is why the distance is shorter. To be honest, I don't care that much about improving our pace. The ability to run longer distances as one time is what really matters to me, and we're doing that. I think we'll probably be on phase three for at least three more days because the next jump is pretty big. It's where we got stuck the last time and ended up having to take a step back. (3min running, then 90sec walking; 5min running and 2m30s walking. Repeat.)

So here's to getting in shape!

book review: ladies night

Grace Stanton’s life as a rising media star and beloved lifestyle blogger takes a surprising turn when she catches her husband cheating and torpedoes his pricey sports car straight into the family swimming pool.  Grace suddenly finds herself locked out of her palatial home, checking account, and even the blog she has worked so hard to develop in her signature style.  Moving in with her widowed mother, who owns and lives above a rundown beach bar called The Sandbox, is less than ideal.  So is attending court-mandated weekly "divorce recovery" therapy sessions with three other women and one man for whom betrayal seems to be the only commonality.  When their “divorce coach” starts to act suspiciously, they decide to start having their own Wednesday "Ladies' Night" sessions at The Sandbox, and the unanticipated bonds that develop lead the members of the group to try and find closure in ways they never imagined.  Can Grace figure out a new way home and discover how strong she needs to be to get there? 

Heartache, humor, and a little bit of mystery come together in a story about life’s unpredictable twists and turns.  Mary Kay Andrews' Ladies' Night will have you raising a glass and cheering these characters on. (from goodreads.com)

4/5 Okay. This was my first Mary Kay Andrews book. During my brief stint working at the library, I saw a lot of people check out this book, so I thought I'd see why. I started reading this book on Saturday afternoon, and I could not put it down. From the very beginning, it was just, "Oh my God, WHAT?!" Just one thing after another. I had the book in my hand while I put clothes in the washer. I read through dinner. I really did not put this book down for more than five minutes at a time until I finally finished it at 3am. I couldn't tell you the last time I stayed up all night reading a book. It was that exciting. That good. I needed to know what was going to happen next. Until the very end. The ending earned it a 4 instead of a 5 because I don't think I could possibly have been more disappointed. There was so much buildup, and then it just sort of fizzled out. A huge messy horrible thing ended up wrapped into a neat little package. She did earn bonus points for two of the characters having gone to Clemson, but not enough to make up for the ending. So, overall, I really enjoyed it, but the ending just sucked.

2014 Book Challenge

Somehow, I only discovered the beauty that is Goodreads at the beginning of this year. (Obviously I have been living under a rock.) I wanted to do the challenge, but I know myself, and I didn't want to set my goal too high. I initially set it for 20 books. That's just a little more than 1.5 books per month, and it seemed like a good goal for me. I like reading, and when I get caught up in it, I do a whole lot of it. But then sometimes I go months and months without reading at all.

I'm happy to say that I've already reached my 20 book goal, so I bumped it up to 30. (Of course, a bunch of them were graphic novels, so they shouldn't hold too much weight, but still...) I'm still two books ahead of schedule, but I have a feeling that this Harry Potter marathon is going to ruin that. I'll have to find some quick easy reads when I get done with it. Haha.

Here's what I've read so far:
1. Trading Up by Candace Bushnell - 1/5 (It was so awful that I can't believe I finished it. I just kept thinking it had to get better, and it never did.)
2. London is the Best City in America by Laura Dave - 4/5 (Quick, easy read. Cute story.)
3. Nameless by Lili St. Crow - 2/5 (This book made no sense. It felt like I was coming into the middle of a series without having the background from the earlier books in the series, but this is the first one. I got about 3/4 of the way through it before reading reviews that said everyone else felt the same way and it never got better, so I stopped reading it.)
4. Firefly Lane by Kristin Hannah - 3/5 (This book was just okay to me. It was a good story, but definitely not my favorite of Kristin Hannah's books.)
5. Panic by Lauren Oliver - 4/5 (To be honest, I'm surprised that I only gave it 4/5. This was a book that I couldn't put down. It was a really interesting and different story - not your regular old YA book.)
6. Magic Hour by Kristin Hannah - 5/5 (This was another really unique and interesting story, and another one that I couldn't put down. It was so good.)
7. Nil by Lynn Matson - 4/5 (This was kind of a weird story. It was sort of a cross between Lost and The Maze Runner, but I love both of those things, and I enjoyed it. Again, not your typical YA.)
8. The Lightning Thief (Percy Jackson) by Rick Riordan - 4/5 (I have seen the movie, and I'm sorry that I didn't read the book(s) beforehand. I did really enjoy it, though, and I will get to the rest of the series eventually.)
9. Silver Girl by Elin Hilderbrand - 5/5 (This was a book that I could not relate to in any way, and I think that's why I liked it. It is realistic fiction, so it's definitely something someone could relate to, but not me. It was my first Elin Hilderbrand book, and I definitely want to read more.)
10. Dragon Hunt (Warcraft: The Sunwell Trilogy) - 3/5 (This was a graphic novel, and I really had to force myself to read it. I suck at comics, so it was hard, but I know so little about Warcraft lore, and I wanted to learn. I ended up taking the second two books back to the library without reading them. :/)
11. The Longest Ride by Nicholas Sparks - 4/5 (I only gave it 4 stars because it redeemed itself in the end. It was a solid 3 for 75% of the book. The way the book was written was kind of annoying to me, but the story was okay. Definitely not Nicholas Sparks' best.)
12. The Walking Dead Volume 1 by Robert Kirkman - 4/5 (Back to the graphic novels. These were easier (but still not easy) for me to read because the artwork was better. It was interesting to see how different it is from the tv show, and that kept me reading.)
13. The Walking Dead Volume 2 - 4/5
14. The Castaways by Elin Hilderbrand - 4/5 (This book was also completely unrelatable to me, and I kind of hope all of Elin's books are this way. Parts of it were pretty heartwrenching, but it was a good book.)
15. The Walking Dead Volume3 - 4/5
16.The Walking Dead Volume 4 - 4/5
17.The Walking Dead Volume 5 - 4/5
18. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone - 5/5
19. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets - 5/5
20. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban - 5/5

I really didn't intend to post reviews because I thought I wouldn't remember the books well enough, but it turns out I did. haha.

I am really trudging through Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. I picked it up a week ago, and I'm only on page 85. Out of 734. At this rate, it will take me two months to get through it! It's not that I don't like it or don't want to read it. I think it's just that every time I pick it up, I read a page and then I space out thinking about how long it's going to take me to finish it. So stupid! I really need to focus. I also need to start reading at home because, right now, I'm only reading on my lunch breaks. Part of me feels like I should take a break from HP, but I have a bad feeling that if I take a break, I won't ever go back to it. However, I have 28 books currently on my to-read list, many of which are the first in a series, so I need to just get on with it!

And on a final note, I can't leave here without saying something about Robin Williams. I absolutely loved him - but then who didn't? I didn't know until today that he and Christopher Reeve had been close, but a comment I saw from someone this morning really got me:

Peter Pan and Superman flying together again.

I'll never forget the first time I saw Hook. It must have just come out on VHS, and I watched it at my parents' friends' house. It was so exciting and scary and wonderful. I saw both Mrs. Doubtfire and Jumanji in the theater with my grandma. I saw Patch Adams in the theater with my aunt. And I will definitely never for the One Hour Photo debacle. My two best friends and I were hosting French exchange students who spoke very little English. We had decided to go to the movies and let them choose the movie. They knew Robin Williams, and they chose One Hour Photo, thinking it would be funny and they'd be able to understand it fairly easily. After we left the theater, none of them spoke for the rest of the night. Definitely not what they were expecting!

and i don't want the world to see me cause i don't think that they'd understand

Recently, I've been re-reading through the Harry Potter series. I have only read the books once before, and I read (most of) them as they came out, so I've never read them straight through. And it's been many years since I've read any of them. Today I finished Prisoner of Azkaban.

*Warning - Spoilers Ahead* (Normally I wouldn't do that, but at this point, I figure everyone who has any interest in Harry Potter has already seen the movies and/or read the books. If you haven't, what are you waiting for?!)

It's been an interesting experience so far. I feel like the Sorcerer's Stone movie stays pretty true to the book, so I don't really feel like I got too much out of it since I've seen the movie 453894385 times. It was a good read, of course, but it wasn't super exciting. Now Chamber of Secrets is one of my least favorite of the HP movies, so I haven't seen it a lot. The book is so so much better, in my opinion. I really enjoyed reading it and seeing the characters really start to develop. I have to admit, I find myself taking on a very Snape-like attitude towards Harry. The more I read, the less I like him. I don't know if it's because I'm older now or if it's because now I know all that Snape knows and has gone through, or what, but Harry's sense of entitlement is pretty astounding. He grew up knowing nothing of his background, and within just a few months of learning everything, it's very obvious that he sees himself as The Boy Who Lived (if not The Chosen One).

Prisoner of Azkaban is hands down my favorite of the movies. So far in this read-through, it is my favorite book, but I don't think I can accurately assess it until I'm finished with all of them. It was kind of frustrating (but at the same time fun) to know that the "Grim" was Sirius and to know that Sirius actually wasn't a bad guy. All along, Harry was freaking out about it, and I'm all, "It's cool, Harry. Sirius is a really good guy! I can't wait for you to meet him!" haha. Despite knowing exactly how it would all go down, I was completely on the edge of my seat during the whole scene inside the Shrieking Shack. So so great.

To be honest, I'm not super excited to start Goblet of Fire. Partly because the books are so long from here on out and partly because this is where it starts to get dark. It also gets more intense and more interesting, so I will definitely enjoy it. But I typically only read at lunch. It took me a little less than a month to get through the first three books; I feel like it's going to take several months to get through the rest. Haha.

i've been stuck in this whirlwind my life's been spinning round my head

I'm really bad at coming up with titles for things, which is why I always use song lyrics as my post titles. In case anyone was wondering, the titles are completely irrelevant to anything; it's usually from whatever I happen to be listening to at the time.

I changed the look of my blog. I'm not totally in love with it, but I'm happy enough with it for the moment. For now, I'm keeping the same title, but that may change.

So for the last few trips that we've taken, I've used Priceline's "Name Your Own Price" feature to book our hotels. We've been pleased with the results so far. Unless there's a specific hotel where you'd like to stay, I honestly can't see a reason not to use it. It's unlikely that you'll find a better price somewhere else.

In general, I don't think it's worth it to stay at a Disney Resort Hotel when you're visiting Disney World. You can get a much cheaper (nicer) hotel on Priceline (or other travel sites). For example, the cheapest Disney "Value Resort" (2.5 stars) room right now is $85/night. The last time we went, Josh and I got a 3.5 star room for $30/night. If you're going with more than just two people, it can be even cheaper to rent a house. However, something made me decide to stay at a Disney Resort Hotel this time. So we'll be staying at the All-Star Music Resort. (I did get a pretty good deal, but not through Priceline.)

I am super excited about it. I stayed at the All-Star Sports resort on my high school senior trip, and it was pretty cool. I have also stayed at Port Orleans, but that was about 20 years ago, so I don't remember it really well. Unlike our last trip, we will actually have a day where we aren't visiting the parks, so we'll get to explore the whole resort and hang out at the pool(s).

The only disadvantage at the last hotel we stayed at was transportation to the parks. They offered it, but it didn't run very often, and the last bus left the park right at closing time. Had we chosen that option, we would have missed the bus and had to find another way back to our hotel due to the long lines for the monorail/ferry to get back to the transportation center. Luckily we drove, but that also meant paying to park. Staying at a Disney resort, the transportation will be a lot better, and it'll be really nice to not have to worry about driving and parking at the parks.

Initially, I had thought we would leave Thursday morning and come home Sunday, leaving us Friday and Saturday in the parks. However, after doing some research, I found that it would be better to do the parks on Thursday and Saturday, which gives us a nice, relaxing day off in between. We'll leave work early on Wednesday and drive down to Orlando. I didn't want to add another (expensive) night at the the ASM resort, so I booked us a cheap 2.5 star hotel through Name Your Own Price. I got a room for $35 at the Destiny Palms Hotel.

I'm going to be honest - I wasn't excited when Priceline gave me the name of the hotel I'd booked and this is what I saw. It doesn't look like a great place to stay. However, I checked reviews on multiple websites, and I didn't see a single complaint. Everyone seemed to really love it. Plus it has a free continental breakfast (which you know Disney doesn't offer! haha). We'll be getting there late at night and leaving early in the morning, so it really doesn't even matter. We just need a safe, clean place to sleep, and this meets those requirements.

I kind of wish we had some friends that could come with us, but it's bad timing for a lot of people, and no one is able to come with us. :/ Still, I know we'll have a great time. I can't wait!!